Thursday, 7 May 2015

I Am Not My Hair: Does New Hair Mean a New Me?



Hey guys!! How is everyone doing? I hope you are all very very well!

If you didn't notice all my hair has gone!! Yep, shaved it right off! I feel so liberated and confident and dare I say it... beautiful! A lot of people have asked me 'why?' So I'm going to tell you! If you are so perplexed by the idea of a bald woman and need enlightening or you think it's amazing and want to  know all about my decision I would love for you to continue reading! Xx


Two and a half years ago I shaved off all of my hair for the purpose of a fresh, healthy start in my conquest to grow long luscious locks to be envied by men and women far and wide. It was, in all honesty, an epic fail! In the first year I wore head scarfs for the shame of my teenie weenie afro. Then, as soon as it was long enough, I spent the next year and a half with it tied up in a bun. For the fear of my hairline receding and the lack of enthusiasm I had for looking after it, I asked myself 'do I need my hair? do I even really like it?'... the answer was a resounding 'no'. 

Every woman has their moments. Those days when they feel gorgeous, they take 101 selfies, post on every social media outlet and then wait to see how many likes and *lovestruck eyes* they receive... no? Well, I certainly do. I'd say they come around every 8 weeks! Haha! I laugh, but I'm oh so serious! I want to feel pretty, everyone wants to feel good, but I also want to feel like me. I want to be the best version of myself and I want it to be on my terms!

When I started growing my hair back my patience wore thin extremely quickly. I would complain to my dad that 'it's not growing fast enough'. And he would reply 'so?' I would say, 'because I want long hair' and he would ask 'why?' and I would retort 'because it makes you prettier.' For a long time I thought that when my hair reached my desired length I would feel more attractive. I was certain other people would think so, but I got so tired of living for that moment. Waiting to wake up and feel more significant because my hair was twelve inches long instead of six. 

As a black woman in this era of social media madness, I have felt conflicted. I want my hair to be long and straight and blow in the wind, but I also want it to be bouncy and thick and grow towards the heavens. Unfortunately having both costs a lot of money, takes a lot of time and requires a lot effort. With the 'installation' of weaves, then the maintenance of natural hair you have to be dedicated. It's dedication, I finally admitted to myself, I just don't have. 

Earlier this year I convinced one of my best and oldest friends to do a big chop. She was reluctant at first, because like so many of us, she was accustomed to the life of weaves and all the glorious options they have to offer. But I knew she would not only look amazing with her hair gone, but that she would feel amazing too. She's been wearing it short for a while now and I don't think she has spent a second regretting her decision. She oozes a whole new confidence not to mention she looks stunning and one day I said to myself 'I wanna look and feel as great as she does.' I thought about it for about two weeks and decided that I would take the plunge! It's only been 48 hours, but this has been a really amazing 48 hours. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like this decision is going to change me for the better. It is representative of so many things. It is an outward sign of my decision to be happy and content with myself, as I am. A declaration of my intention to focus my energy on the less superficial and more important things in this life. It is a form of expression and it makes me feel like I am in control!

I love my hair like this and you should love your hair in which ever way you choose to wear it. As long as it is truly your choice. 

Take care of you hair ladies. Long, short, shaved or weaved it's clearly important to us! 

xxx

p.s Here is my hair colour
 Dark and Lovely 'Go Intense' in 'Radiant Copper - 74' 



2 comments:

  1. Excellent post Azryah, you are a very inspirational writer x

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  2. This is very inspirational and a very thought provoking blog post.

    ReplyDelete